Back to the Beginning (Again)

This is it. The End. This is the last stage of my weight loss journey for the rest of my life. Im scared, but also excited. I know I have said this before, but now I know how serious I have to be.

About a month ago I applied for a spot in the NY Marathon. I have applied the last two years as well. Two years ago I was in the middle of getting into shape and thought it would be fun to try and get in, despite only having a 9% chance. I didn't get in. Last year I was on the way to gaining back all of the weight I had lost and thought that if I grasped at one last straw, maybe I could reverse my dangerous cycle. I didn't get in.

This year, I was desperate. I needed something to force me on the right path, as I have been struggling and unable to do it on my own. Today I got the email. Today I got in.

Pause.

Okay, so those first three paragraphs I wrote almost 4 years ago to the day. It is now February 28, 2019. I wrote the above sitting in my law school class towards the beginning of my second semester in school. I remember vividly the exciting feeling while typing those words thinking it was all going to be different. That email was going to change everything.

Fast forward 4 years. After writing those first four paragraphs, I did nothing. I don't even think I exercised once in anticipation of running the marathon. As our president would say, Sad! I "deferred" that year's marathon entry to 2016, which guaranteed me entry. I then subsequently did nothing in 2016 then either. Guess what? I then applied again to run in 2017 (the deferral only is allowed for one year)- and I got in!! But, of course, I did not even bat an eye or change one thing.

Eleven days ago was the first time I weighed myself in what seems like forever. The number was about what I expected, but also very scary. I felt like a sphere, in more way than one. When I look in the mirror, I see someone who I do not recognize. I remember seeing Chris Christie walk around and thinking that he looks enormous. Well, that's what I look like when I walk.

I woke up about two weeks ago and decided I need to make a change. I have 3 amazing kids and the most amazing wife in the world. Not only do I want to be around to watch the kids grow and spend time with my wife, but I do not want my kids growing up without a father. So I took the first step- I signed up for Weight Watchers (or WW as its now being called apparently).

To new beginnings (again)!